


Cannolis and Stage Sets

by stargazingponds



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6317770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazingponds/pseuds/stargazingponds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is a superstar hiding his sexuality from his overbearing agent, Walburga Black. Remus is an amateur photographer helping out his friends James and Lily. What happens when Remus walks onto a major scoop?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cannolis and Stage Sets

Remus is walking towards his favorite hangout in this downtown mess of markets and Victorian homes. There are cameras flashing and Remus is tripping over- why is everyone wearing dress pants? backstreet business conventions aren’t exactly a thing.

_Shit, I’m late, goddamn street block, what the hell? Lily was expecting me ten minutes ago!_

He hears the voice of a hag screeching, “FILTHY PAPARAZZI, I’M WALBURGA BLACK GET OUT OF MY WAY; I’M WEARING ARMANI!”

Maybe getting Lily an inside scoop on something would be worth her rage? And those cannolis down the street. Might as well celebrate my promotion- here’s to lasting a few months in one job!

So Remus keeps walking.

It better be worth it- he’s about to start growling at some of these people, this girl doesn’t even look twelve!

And then he finally spots the commotion- _that is some chaotic heaven, because oh dear loRD THAT MAN IS AN A N G E L_

He pockets some man’s backstage pass, and he walks onto the set.

Totally worth it.

Is that Sirius Black? _Fuck, he’s gorgeous in person- Lily, goddamn, you’re gonna LOVE THIS._

Remus is just left standing there with his iPhone camera app and messy hair and scuffed shoes, the face of a deer in headlights.

“Can I help you?”

Shit, what the hell does he do now? James was going to train him personally as photography editor at the Hogwarts Film Institute as a “favor” to Lily- he wasn’t ready yet!

Remus turns around and he’s like

“Can I take a picture actually?”

“Isn’t that your job, mate?”

Remus blushes,

“First day, actually. Walk with me and answer a few questions?”

Sirius’s entire demeanor hardens-

 “What makes you think I would talk to a newbie like you? Look at you, you’re not even wearing the proper clothes. I don’t hang out in the slums.”

Remus is shocked and quite angry- he turns to leave, writing on his iPhone about the entire experience to show Lily how utterly rude her idol was- until Sirius practically shoves him into a tent.

“You idiot! Didn’t you notice my producer practically fuming that you’re even back here? Are you trying to get us both jobless?”

Remus is a little bit breathless as he responds that

_No, he certainly wouldn’t want a wannabe snob to get fired because he doesn’t need more money anyway!_

Sirius is entirely done with this scrawny kid who looks like he might be Sirius’s age- and who’s walking out?

Sirius runs after him and tugs on his arm to get him to stop. bloody. moving. and a couple of dollar bills fall out of Remus’s hands as he goes to catch his iPhone?

Sirius watches, amused.

“Are you headed somewhere, Mr. Newbie, or do you just carry around dollar bills in your hand for the hell of it? Perhaps I could meet you there, I’m rather fond of you.”

Remus groans- Time to check off making enemies of hot actors on my list of failures...Lily would understand…Wait. If he brought Sirius to Lily…revenge is a dish best served cold, right?

He turns around to find Sirius holding out the back flap: What’s the harm, really?

He heads out, and silently ignores Sirius, who’s trying to get his attention

Sirius, meanwhile, is wondering whether this is entirely safe- and how has his detail not caught them yet? It’s not like he doesn’t know Walburga follows his every move?

Remus stops at a little shop called Florean Fortescue’s Cannolis and the bell rings with a quiet chime

A freckled redhead comes flying at Remus and almost barrels into him.

“ Thank God, Remus, you left me with JAMES! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?”

Remus snickers and winces as Lily punches his side:

“Won’t you introduce me to the fellow looking through the window that walked in with you?”

Remus turns and finds Sirius with his nose pressed into the glass.

“What, exactly, are you doing?”

“Trying to get a date with this windowpane. What do you think I’m doing? Avoiding people like you and your kind- reporters, the lot of them, are the devils, but you don’t seem so bad.”

Lily is about to screech in anger, Remus can tell- until the moment she realizes who exactly is talking.

“Sirius-Sirius Black!? Is that-”

Sirius slapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes widened in shock and understand while Remus flushed with renewed anger until Sirius hissed

“Remus, or whatever this lovely redhead called you, is there anywhere we can hide from the paparazzi?”

Remus drags him to the back of the kitchen.

“Peter! Throw me the keys, I need to get into the flat quickly!”

Peter, in the middle of making a cannoli, drops it in his rush to help a frazzled Remus in his confusion- Sirius is looking around in surprise until Remus grabs his hand.

_Ooh, that felt kinda nice-damn, Mr. Newbie’s got strong arms to drag me like that_

Not a second until Remus slams the door to the upstairs flat do they hear Walburga’s fierce growl- Sirius groans and Remus shushes him, Lily is terrified of the possible scandal.

The three hear a new voice, that could only be of a male mischief-maker-

 “Why, Walburga, I didn’t know I was Sirius Black. Cannoli?”

It’s Lily’s and Remus’s turn to groan, Sirius and the others can only listen on as the two downstairs steadily make it worse and

“Fucking Christ, hag, if this is causing foul publicity. you’re only making it worse! This is where I live, so finish your business here and leave!”

“Do not use that foul language around me, Mr. Potter! My client cannots seem like a bloody poof at any cost- and this has to be stopped before anyone knows!”

Sirius has had enough and before Lily and Remus can stop him, he flings open the door and storms downstairs.

“I AM a bloody poof, and you don’t get to be my mother anymore! I despise the way you’ve trained me to be!

There’s no sound except the one of a clean slap across the face. Sirius steps back and holds his palm to his reddening cheek, he’s so pale it looks like blood

No one moves- Walburga and James have both paled for the same reason but different morals, Lily has a an “O” face and, well, Remus

Remus looks like he’s ill but he shakily steps towards Sirius and stretches his hand out.

“Sirius Black, would you like to grab a cannoli with me? It seems as if you’ll a place to stay, too. I’m sure James and Peter won’t mind?”

The two nod vigorously, having a scandalous pop star all to themselves for one night? Bloody hell, how could someone miss an opportunity like that?

Sirius smiles pathetically and nodded while Remus felt like he might melt onto the floor but Sirius steps forward and pathetically melts into his arms as Remus tries to hold him up

There’s a gasp from the two women there: Walburga walks out in fury-

Lily is writing away on her iPhone and imagining the headlines, and the next day: SCANDAL APPEARS RIGHT IN THE QUIBBLER’S HEADQUARTERS- MEGA POP STAR COMES OUT ON THE SAME DAY HE QUITS HIS JOB until James holds out a hand-

“Maybe they want to see where this goes before you put them in the spotlight, Lilyflower?”

and Lily is so, so surprised.

Peter finally spills the beans “on accident”; Lily is a bit disappointed but she’s the only one to get an exclusive interview before the more in-depth articles come out. When the articles finally arrive, it brings a smile to Sirius’s face, and Remus finds copies of all the different articles and puts them in his photo album. On their anniversary Remus gets home to find Sirius making cannolis behind the counter-

“Can I take your order?”

“Isn’t that your job, mate?”

“First day, actually.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know the pov/person is a bit weird. It's just how I write- like headcanons on Tumblr, to be honest. Anyway, I hope you liked it, and check out my other works!


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